Another milestone

Hiya, well today is my last IV chemo so on Friday the picc line in my arm can come out. Yaay! I can have a bath without having to wave one arm in the air like Im waiting for a lifesaver to come rescue me from the tub! After this I go on xeloda which is still chemo but in a tablet form. I still have to have avastin fortnightly through the drip but it only takes half an hour, which is much better than the current six. Cant wait to be finished. Getting rescanned in the next couple of weeks,its completely nervewracking. Apart from the chemo I feel great! No pain or other symptoms. still cant believe I have this insidious disease but working hard to beat it. Get the hell outta my body! Its mine and you cant have it!

Dr Liver Guy said my chemo results have been amazing, but not enough for a resection. I go back for a review in December. He reckons the chemo works best in the first three months so I dont expect he will change his mind, but if he does it will be the best surprise. I still have sirspheres to fall back on, when the tumours start to grow instead of shrink thats when they will hit them. Bowel cancer is a bummer lol!

Liver resection - maybe!

Ahoy-hoy!  I went back and saw my original surgeon, aka Dr Handsome.  He is still dashingly handsome and that accent... well I cant say its to die for (lol, black humour!) but Im a sucker for the Irish and Scottish lilt.  So once I got over the visual aspect, he said its worth referring me back to Dr Liver Guy. He is the one who said he couldnt operate unless I had an AMAZING result from the chemo.  And I must have that operation to have any chance of a cure and/or longer term outlook.  And now Im being referred back to him!   (insert double back flips).  Dr Head Onc said not to get too excited as he seems to think he wont be able to operate, but its a step in the right direction.  Looks like the hysterectomy will be in early December.

I had a few slips in my diet this week, it started with one slice of birthday cake on my birthday...quite justified I thought.. but I seem to have extended the celebrations to include a vanilla slice and sugar coated nuts as well.  Ooops.  Will read my anti cancer diet books before bed tonight to get more motivated so I can maintain the strict diet from here on.  Plus my naturopath always knows.  I dont know how, but she has sugar radar. Its spooky.

And I must also thank Tania, Helen, Rachel and all the girls for the 'shop til ya drop' night.  We had a blast and the cool clothes were just an added bonus. Tania and Helen have been running a cancer fund raiser for the last ten years or so.  You guys rock!

Til next time, stay healthy and happy!

Cautiously counting chooks...

We have just arrived home from a lovely dinner with three other couples. Each person at tonights table holds a special place in our hearts. The first couple introduced me to my husband, the others joined us overseas for part of our honeymoon. And tonight they proudly presented us with the proceeds of the quiz night they organised to help us out. With the help of their families and friends they ran a fantastic evening and even though our table didnt win (insert desperate sobs), a great night was had by all. So thankyou Ben, Anita, Andrea, Simon, Nicole, Nigel and everyone who helped on the night, and to everyone who attended or donated items for the auction. There are just too many people to thank! We are truly grateful.

This weekend I didnt have cancer, I had cheescake instead! Izzy had a sleepover so i decided to lose myself in naughty food. Dont tell my naturopath but it was gooooood! Now its back to the organic diet. I just really needed a treat! Theres only so much carrot and beetroot juice a girl can take. Only four more chemo treatments to go, i cant wait for it to be over. The side effects are increasing. Neuropathy is effecting my mouth, fingers and nose. The nausea and tiredness are taking longer to wear off and i had my first mouth ulcer. On a brighter note I havent had any more (touch wood) and the nose bleeds have stopped. In all I think Im handling it ok. Dr Big Onc seems 'cautiously positive' given my good result from the chemo so far, but reminded me not to count my proverbial chooks. I reminded him that Im aiming for a liver resection and that magic final note on my file that reads 'NED' - nil evidence of disease. He smiled. Cautiously of course.

Have a good one, wherever you are!

Woohoo!!!!!!!

Hiya!
I had another catscan today, then straight up to oncology and another chemo sesion. Am back on the chemo pump til Thursday. I saw Big Chief Onc (BCO - nicknames amuse my small mind) instead of Dr Dimwit, what a blessed relief. Its never good to think you know more than your specialist. Im changing hospitals next week where I hope my faith in the medical profession will be restored. If I have to have my insides rearranged again I think Id like to choose who does it this time. Anyway, no more whingeing cos its a good day. No, its most excellent day!

My largest tumour in the liver has gone from 3.9 to 2.6cms. Thats a reduction of 40%, rounded up by 1% cos im an optimist! (insert happy dance). It might not be the miracle im looking for..yet, but i am grateful for every small win. BCO even smiled at me for the first time and he is a massive pessimist. He said there is a small chance i might be able to have a resection, so its still game on! Got two more months of full on chemo, then a hysterectomy, then they will probably put me on maintenance chemo until the tumours start growing again. Then they will hit them with the sir spheres.

So the plan is kinda on track, so keep everything crossed for me that the chemo works amazingly over the next eight weeks!!! Hopefully i will be off chemo in Nov/Dec so we can pack up the camper trailer and head north for a month..or east, or south, or west....!

Sunshine and light

Hi there everyone in blog-land!  Heres another update on how things are going.  I started this blog sending the link out to about eight close friends because it was so hard on Andrew having to repeat to everyone how things are going - but somehow its got bigger than that.  I have had some lovely emails from other cancer patients who have found it inspirational which is great, but I thought perhaps I should balance it out with a dose of reality - its not all sunshine and light.  Everyone has their down days and Ive had a really down week this week.

The good news is:

• My bloods came back all ok again, white cells are good, red cells are even up, and liver function is ok.
• The pain in my side turned out to be muscular, who knew I had muscles in my abdomen! So theres one less thing to obsess about.
• Dr Dimwit didnt know anything about sirspheres, even though my hospital is an accredited provider.  So I rang Sirtex and they told me who he has to refer me to - within the hospitals own radiology department of course.  So I dont have to have the spheres in Sydney which makes it a lot cheaper, and also my private health might cover some of it.  So with the quiz night and the Ellabella Prints auction I should have enough money to pay for the treatment.  Thankyou so much to my wonderful friends for supporting us in this way and for all the lovely meals, helping to take the pressure off.
• The quiz night is set for August 13th!!!  I can't work out how to attach the invite to my blog  but if you are interested in coming, drop me an email and I'll send on the invitation.  Someone told me not to put the @ sign in my address to avoid being spammed, so its jfischer at kern.com.au - replace the 'at' with '@'.  Im sure you get it!

The soso news is:

• My CEA cancer markers were tested for the 2nd time so they can be compared - originally they were 42, and they have stayed at 42.    CEA is a protein that cancer cells release into the blood, the higher the result the more active the cancer.  I was devastated that they hadnt gone down and burst into tears, but the Dr reassured me that without the chemo they would have been three times as high, and it shows that the chemo is holding the cancer at bay... there is still time for the numbers to drop.  Wont know whats really going on until I get rescanned in a month.  I need a miraculous result from this chemo so will keep going with my healthy diet, juicing and supplements. I lashed out on a piece of carrot cake this week, yummo- have been dreaming about iced coffee and vanilla slices!

And the bad news is:

• Tests showed that I dont have the KRAS gene mutation so Erbitux wont work for me.  I was pinning a lot of hope on this drug as it has had such positive outcomes, so yet again more tears for me.  Spent the whole day in chemo being a big fat sook.  Actually Im a skinny sook now, woohoo!

I didnt do much to help myself I have to say.  On the way back to the car I walked past a jewellry shop with a half price sale and bought Izzy a necklace for her 21st in case Im not here to give it to her.  How do you write a letter saying goodbye to your kids?  If you can imagine it then you are part way to understanding what a bad day is like.  Dont get me wrong, I am just as determined to beat this as ever.  But a good project planner always has a risk management plan and thats what Im doing.  Just covering all the bases, and when Ive finished writing these letters I can put them away and forget about them - just one more thing to cross off my list.  So Im sorry to be not so inspirational this week, but I think its important that other cancer patients dont think I have some freakish ability to only think positively - my advice to you is dont google survival rates, they are based on averages and we are NOT average!  Thinking positive takes hard work and perseverance.  Only google survivor stories for inspiration and ignore the rest.   End of lecture, over and out!

A quick update....

Wow, iron transfusions are great, everyone should have one!  And it was just in time for a visit from my friend Gnomes from Brissy.  We stayed up til a raging 1am!  Poor Gnomes, she had to suffer through a never ending dance recital but it was great to spend some time with her.  Oh the joys of being an honorary auntie.

Im now on to my fourth chemo cycle and the drugs seem to accumulate with each treatment.  Im coping with it all well, touch wood. Thankfully the iron transfusion has given me loads more energy, but the nausea and neuropathy are worsening and I wake with a blood nose every morning, from the Avastin I think.  Erbitux was approved on the PBS this week, yaaay!  So Im hoping to add that to my bag of tricks.

Ive never been a girly girl who is into hair and makeup.  But now that my hair is thinning Ive developed a sudden affection for it.  I think Im getting a bit obsessive about my hair falling out, its just such a wierd sensation.  It dawned on me the other day that Im half way through the treatments before I get re-scanned.    My mind is starting to shift from managing the chemo to what the actual result will be, and Im getting nervous.   In bed I listen to a self hypnosis CD for cancer patients that targets the sub-conscious with positive messages.  It stops me from having other thoughts.  It works so well that Ive never stayed awake long enough to hear the end!   Im determined to beat this, but what if its unbeatable?  I refuse to think its an option, but I still have my dark moments..I can't help but worry about every pang, twinge and pain - is it the cancer?  I will beat it.  For Izzy and Tom.  For my family.  Because Andrew buys ugly furniture and cant do a ponytail to save himself. 

Don't forget to check out www.facebook.com.au/ellabelllaprint for the online auction that starts on Fri 24 June.  The support from work at home mums has been amazing.  It really restores the faith and I thank each and every person who has contributed.  Massive thanks to Nicole for organising it, in between juggling three small children and the best kids market in Adelaide!  http://www.lollipopmarkets.com.au/.  How does she do it!

Before I sign off, here's an Izzy quote.. 'Don't forget, be happy!'

Introducing Doris....

Hiiya, well I thought it was too good to last - my second session of chemo was two days ago and Im really feeling it.  Nausea and fatigue are not much fun.  So Im officially back on the bottle until later this arvo when I go back in to get 'unhooked' from the chemo pump.  Its a bit disappointing because I was so good last week, but to be expected I guess.  Thank goodness for Mum and Andrew (hubby), both have been working extremely hard during a difficult time. Sometimes I think its easier for me than for them.  Im still losing hair but havent had to bring out my wig yet... we have christened her 'Doris' because she's a bit more Doris Day than Farrah Fawcett as was the original suggestion.  Plus the real Doris is still kicking on and Ms Fawcett's tap got turned off a bit early so thought I'd stick with the more positive name.  I just hope all this chemo is doing its thing and 'lumpatron' is majorly shrinking. 

My chemo is Folfox with Avastin which takes about 5.5 hours to run through the drip.  My blood results came back and liver function and white cell counts are all within normal ranges, but my red blood cells are 'in my boots' and Im very anaemic according to the Dr.  Apparently colon cancer is notorious for slowly bleeding and leaching out all haemoglobin, so my red cell count would have been very low for quite some time.  I thought I was just tired because Im a working mum!  A blood transfusion would fix it temporarily, but an iron transfusion lasts for a month so Im having that done on Monday.  Yet another full day on the drip, but  hopefully it will be the pick-me-up that I need.  I felt so good last week that Im sure this will have me swinging from the chandeliers in no time. 

My good friend Nicole (organiser of the famous Lollipop Markets http://www.lollipopmarkets.com.au/) has organised an facebook auction to help raise funds for my sir sphere treatment.  I didnt get into the trial because of the ovarian cancer but I can still have the treatment if I pay for it.  Here is the address for the auction:  http://www.facebook.com.au/ellabellaprint.  It starts on June 24th so check it out!  It is very overwhelming to have so much support, especially from strangers.  So now I have two awesome Nicole's helping me out!  The other Nicole is arranging a quiz night - she runs http://www.paintnaturally.com.au/ so pop in to see her on Unley Road if you need decorating advice - her range of Florence Broadhurst is amazing and Im sure I don't need to sell you on the benefits of chemical free paint.

Anyway, nothing much else to report this fortnight - hope to be feeling much better and full of energy next week after my transfusion!

ps Andrew has invented 'vertical planking' - its hilarious, but he wont let me take a photo of it!