Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Last week I had a rather unpleasant biopsy to see if I had cancer in my womb as the pet scan had picked up a 'hot spot'.  The results were inconclusive, so my Oncologist scheduled me for an urgent D&C for a certain result.  The Gynae registrar called back yesterday.  He said they had a meeting about me, and I dont need another surgery as there is 5cm mass in my adnexal region (ie ovary), so I am off the sirflox trial and I need to start chemo asap.  That was his way of saying I have a new cancer in my ovary that is not related to my other cancer.  Close your eyes if you are sensitive to foul language, but for fucks sake why didnt they pick that up in my first surgery on that ovary when they were having a good look at it?  Why didnt the pet scan, 2 cat scans or MRI pick it up?  And why do I have to have another brand new cancer?  Not bloody fair.  I mean really, this is just not right when Im fighting so hard to stay positive.   I cant have it removed because chemo stops cells from growing, so the body needs six weeks to heal first and I need to start chemo next week.  Im sooooo frustrated, angry, stressed, depressed, pissed off, upset... you name it!  I will get over the shock of it and get refocussed on being positive and getting well.  Im back to Oncology on Friday so will see how that goes. 

I am fortunate to have so many wonderful friends who have offered to cook, clean, pick up the kids, babysit.... travel down from Qld to visit, arranging prayers to be said.   So far my friends have organised for the Lutherans, Catholics and Buddhists to pray for me so Ive got a fair few bases covered there - not bad for a heathen!

I tried on some wigs during the week so my bald head doesnt scare the kids at school, but seriously I looked like an overgrown muppet!  Might stick to hats unless I can find something decent.  Ive got long hair at the moment so Im thinking of cutting off my plait and stick it out the back of a hat - at least I can say its my own hair! I think we will have a ceremonial hair cutting event and make it a a bit of fun, Im sure Izzy would LOVE to play hairdresser!  Might be best not to include Tom in that one, he has already given himself a haircut at school this term!!

Now Im in a philosophical kinda mood so heres my thought for the day....Sometimes when you are bogged down with work and running around after kids its easy to lose perspective on the important things in life.  Take a moment to slow down, stop and enjoy the simple things... you might just discover you are happier than you ever realised! 

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