The marker watch begins!

Im back on chemo now, its a three weekly cycle. You might not know that everyone produces cancer cells but in healthy people the immune system polishes them off straight away. The cancer cells release a type of protein into the blood (cea) that can be measured. This is called a 'marker' test. A result of 3 or less is normal. Last time my result was 1.1 and this time its 1.3. So its all good so far! Dr Doom predicts that at some point my markers will start creeping up until my clogs pop off in a couple of years. He has only ever had one person who returned a nil evidence of disease result and was cured. So Im planning on being number two! Moral of the story is.. Dont get cancer in the first place, It really sucks! get a colonoscopy people!

April update

A quick update for anyone checking in to see how we are doing. Andrews Dad passed away so it has been a sad time. Easter was lovely as they delayed my chemo. My first day of the new chemo was yesterday and so far so good. Im on xeloda which is a tablet form of the IV chemo I was on before. i take it for two weeks, then get a week off. Every third week I go back in to the day oncology centre for an infusion of Avastin and have a blood test a couple of days before to make sure my body is handling it. They also check my cancer markers.

After the last surgery my markers went right down to 1.1 which is within normal ranges. For a minute there I was ecstatic, but he quickly explained that the cancer in my abdomen is still in cellular form - it hasnt had time to develop into tumours yet. There is a procedure called Hipec that could help, but Im not eligible. It involves pulling out your insides and washing them with chemo (sounds yuck.) Unfortunately my insides are all stuck together with scar tissue from the previous surgeries. He said there is still a very small chance the chemo could work, even though its typically a maintenance program. Im on a fairly strong dose. Only way to tell will be to keep watching those cancer marker results. I cant describe how nervewracking it is waiting for results that will tell you if you will live or die. But at the moment I feel good and will take it one day at a time until Im better! I told my Oncologist its their fault Im in this position because ive been pushing them for twelve months to take out that tumour, so now its his responsibility to fix it! Im not scared to speak my mind with him now, what have I got to lose!! :-)

The clogs are coming loose :-(

Andrew came to visit me in hospital on his way home from work. Dr Head Oncologist popped in. He said that the cancer has spread to the peritoneal cavity and there is no cure. Previously he had given me a life expectancy of two years. That was one year ago and before my successful liver resection. Things had finally started looking up.

Andrew and I had a good cry, we are devastated. This isnt how it is supposed to go! I cant comprehend the kids growing up without me. Im not giving up but suddenly reality has thrashed us about the head.

This isnt fair - on my hubby, the kidz, mum, my sisters... If I had known this was in my future I would never have gotten married. Noone should have to go through this. Im pissed off but mostly just overwhelmingly sad. I will not give up, I will fight for every extra day with my loved ones.

So today I will give myself permission to cry and wallow. Tomorrow somehow I will get it together and keep fighting. I will never, ever give up.

Not so good...

Had my surgery yesterday and Doc has just left. The tumour had attached itself to various other parts and had been bleeding. Thats why I had been in so much pain and had low blood pressure. Its certainly not what I wanted to hear. The bleeding could be full of cancer cells and essentially 'seeded' my entire abdomen. And because the tumour was stuck, he couldnt get it all out. Im devastated, but give me aa few days to calm down and I will be back in fighting mode. I already started talking to Doc about whats next ...he said get over this op and we will talk about it. At least I have my own room, so happy bout that!

Latest update

Im home, but going back in on 5 March for what will hopefully be my last surgery for a very long time. This op will be to remove both ovaries, or perhaps a full hysterectomy depending on what they find. I dont mind, so long as I dont turn into a menopausal monster! And my tummy should be nice and flat after this. Good news is that last weeks scan didnt reveal any nasty new surprises. Bye for now,
Jen

Omg Im still in hospital and this woman is still snoring. Then she wakes up and complains that she hasnt slept and the rest of us roll our eyes! If i accidentally smother while sleepwalking am i legally responsible?
The tumour in my ovary has grown and the think it may be necrotic, doesnt that sound lovely? I was not overjoyed. It would be reasonable to assume they would take it out, but no. They dont do complicated surgery here and dr ovary said to get my pain under control and send me back to him. Please can this all be cured - now!

My neighbour is evil

Im back in hospital and the old lady in the bed next to me is pure evil. She snores in a way ive never heard before, the whole ward is sleep deprived. I had $2 on my bedside table for the paper and she just took it! Get me outta here!